1. You watch the weather forecast better than the USA governments CIA for terror threats.
2. You hear any unexpected rain at 2am, run out balls and boobs swinging, ass showing, putting drums, dustbins and even tupperware under the gutters and screaming at the kids to wake up and bring their sandpit buckets to help catch as much as possible even if its only a small buckets worth.
3. You welcome the old wives tale of a sore knee or arthritis in your bones for possible rainy weather on its way.
4. You share your bath water with your family, the dogs and Persian cats. You have never been so close to “family” as you are now.
5. Your bathroom floor is constantly dirty from bare feet because its wet from bucketing grey water from the kids bath into the toilet cistern to flush.
6. Your lush green soft grass is now a baron sand desert with the odd stick or rock and rubble from the previous builder. You always wanted to live on an island and have the sand run through your toes but this was not the way you wanted to achieve it.
7. You wear your clothing more than once. In fact you wear it so many times to save washing it that some of your t-shirts and pants actually stand up once you take it off.
8. Buying spring bottled water to drink is no more a “Constantia Mommy” thing but now a “Bear Grills survival” thing.
9. You knocking time off your showering time has become a Cape Town Olympic sport and gives you bragging rights on all social media platforms.
10. Your cupboards used to consist of food, luxuries and any good deals in bulk but now consist of 5lt Pick n Pay no name brand water and you have a calculation of how many liters of water you will each need when D Day hits. You start putting the American hoarders to shame.
11. You go visit your friends and there is no judgement about a yellow mellow smelling toilet bowl, in fact, its the in thing now and shows guests that you are part of the “only flush when its brown movement”
12. You start judging those who have full pools and green grass even if they swear its only grey or borehole water. No matter the proof, you secretly don’t believe them and you are as jealous as F*ck.
13. You start a fight on social media with anyone who seems to not be saving as much water as you even if they live in a flat, a caravan, have jojo tanks and even their own spring water river running through their garden.
14. You think you know who is to blame for our water shortage – the Government, the political parties, the locations, climate change, God, Donald bloody Trump but NEVER you.
15. You have never used the words Cow boy splash, 2min shower, grey water and bucket as much as you do now.
16. You think you know it all, what CT should of done to prevent the water shortage, what they should be doing now, where to build new dams, where to tap into for fresh water ….. All from your keyboard.
17. Road rage is so 2011, Water Rage is so 2017.
18. The thought of having any guests stay over at your house, using your precious water and ruining your track record is more frightening that being in a room with Grace Mugabe…….
Peace out Cape Town!